Nothing at all
by sparxxa
Summary: Why do you do it?


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters; I just like writing them and their stories.

* * *

"Why do you do it?" 

Enjolras groaned quietly to himself as he tore his attention away from the papers that he had been reading to look at the person who had posed the question. Grantaire, for some reason, was sat across from him at the table he'd been studying at. They were the only ones left in the Café Musain which surprised him; he couldn't recall his other friends leaving, he had no idea what the time was and was at a total loss as to how long Grantaire had been sat with him without him even noticing.

Of all the people that could have been there it just had to have been Grantaire. Many people believed that he hated Grantaire which was not strictly true. Grantaire simply frustrated and irritated him, usually when he was already close to the very edge of his patience; the man just had a knack of pushing him over that edge. He admitted that sometimes he could be quite cold and cruel to the cynical drunk; sometimes he full well deserved it and sometimes he possibly didn't.

Taking a breath to calm himself he looked to the sceptic of _Les Amis de L'A-B-C_ and attempted to be civil.

"Pardon?"

"Why do you do it?" repeated Grantaire.

Enjolras tried very hard to resist the temptation to roll his eyes at the man across from him; he couldn't help it the man was just simply insufferable.

"What? Be part of this fight? Don't you ever listen? I must have told you this a thousand times, I am part of this because I cannot stand to see injustice all around me. The government does not care and neither do the rich all they do is complain about how the poor cause an inconvenience to them and their petty little lives. The only way to make a change is too take action to show that this injustice suffered should not be tolerated, and yes if fighting to the death on the barricades is what it will take to facilitate a change then I will go gladly to my death and be proud to fight alongside any one else who chooses to join me. I will be fighting for a better future for the people of France, for the poor and for those ignored by the bourgeois and the government, those who suffer on a daily basis, who need a hope for the future, a new dawn. That is why I do it Grantaire but I doubt you will ever understand"

Grantaire folded his arms sitting back in his chair; a smirk adorned his features as he gently shook his head almost as if he had been dismayed and amused by Enjolras' answer.

"Oh I understand Enjolras, better than you think, and I know all of that. As you said, you have told me repeatedly and often at greater length than you just did. It may not always seem that way but I do pay attention you know and I was here earlier when you were rallying the others to use Lamarque's funeral as a way to get yourselves all killed. But that is not what I was asking."

"Well, what were you asking?" asked Enjolras doing his best to keep a lid on the mounting frustration he was feeling

"Why do you do it?"

That was it.

"Do what?" snapped Enjolras, his patience gone.

Grantaire leaned forward slightly a serious look on his face as he looked into Enjolras' angry blue eyes.

"Why do you push everyone away? You didn't use to be like this, so cold and uncaring; I remember what you were like when we first formed this group. You still had all those lofty ideals and strong convictions but you were different…you smiled more for one thing. You've become so detached from everyone, even your closest friends. I have seen the way you even keep Combeferre and Feuilly at arms length, the two who you are closest to are still nowhere near you so why? Why do you do it?"

All at once, all of the anger and frustration Enjolras felt towards the man who was his complete opposite fell away. He was honestly surprised at the question, especially as the question came from Grantaire. He might have been prepared for it if the question had come from Combeferre or Jehan or maybe even Joly but to hear it from Grantaire was just a shock to his system. He remained silent, watching Grantaire as the other man waited for his reply, probably expecting to be snapped at or told to mind his own business, waiting for the contempt and scorn that Enjolras usually treated him with. For some reason though Enjolras didn't feel like snapping at Grantaire, the man had asked him a very insightful and personal question, one that he had thought on many times himself. He was now faced with a dilemma though. Should he tell this man who happily drinks himself into oblivion, who mocks him and everything that he stands for on a regular basis, or should he keep his answer to himself and allow it to slowly drive him insane? He may seem like quite the extrovert leading this group of students and would-be revolutionaries but in truth he was very private and inward looking, going over his thoughts and analysing them constantly in the silences of the night.

Grantaire was still waiting for an answer and was beginning to look decidedly nervous at the prolonged silence from the blonde.

"Do you wish for me to be honest with you?" Enjolras asked his voice quieter than usual.

"That would be nice" replied Grantaire, quite relieved that Enjolras had finally spoken and was not yelling at him as he had expected.

Enjolras paused for a moment before looking to Grantaire, a sad smile on his face.

"I can tell you the exact day when everything changed. It was the 14th of March, a couple of years ago, do you remember it? It was the day that Jean Prouvaire came up with the name "_Les Amis de L'A-B-C_", the same day that it was decided that I would be the leader. After that nothing could be the same, how could it? We finally had a structure and a name to go with our purpose. Bit by bit you all stopped seeing me as a friend and began seeing me as a leader…what is it that you call me? A statue. Yes, a cold and uncaring statue. It is my own fault as well I suppose; gradually I began pulling away becoming more and more involved in getting this revolution off the ground. I became the leader that you all expected me to be…that I wanted to be. The revolution is all that matters, in a few days we will be going to the barricades and fighting for our future, a future that none of us may live to see. I have no fears or doubts about this revolution Grantaire, it is the right thing for all of us and I am proud of everyone who helps us to fight for this new dawn…my only regret is that I had to push away my friends to achieve it"

Grantaire had been taken aback by Enjolras' response. For once, instead of admiring the statue, he felt sympathy for the man.

"Could you not still fight for the future but also let your friends know how you feel? Would it be such a bad thing to let them know that you care?" he asked quietly.

Enjolras shook his head "I cannot do that Grantaire and I hope that you will not either. On that barricade they will not be looking for their friend, the one who cares and will mourn them if they fall, they will be looking for their unfeeling statue; their leader who will make the harsh decisions and tell them how to proceed."

He got to his feet collecting his papers up before turning and walking towards the door. He paused at the doorway, looking back to Grantaire with a wry smile.

"It is not me that they will need to get them through the battle, but their statue. Who would you prefer to be stood with?"

Without waiting for an answer Enjolras turned and left the Café Musain and Grantaire who remained in his seat watching the doorway that Enjolras had just left through.

"I would stand with Timothée Enjolras…my friend"

* * *

_Can it be you fear to die?_

_Will the world remember you when you fall?_

_Could it be your death means nothing at all?_

_Is your life just one more lie?_

* * *

Happy Barricade day. I hope this was alright. I put the lyrics at the end because they are one of my favourite verses from the musical and in the 10th anniversary concert it really seems as though Grantaire finally understands Enjolras when he sings those words…and maybe Enjolras finally understands Grantaire as well. 


End file.
